Spa Survivor

I finally found a Survivor I want to sign up for. It’s…SPA SURVIVOR. Instead of competitions where you end up dragging yourself all across a sandy desert beach, you have to endure a really rough exfoliator. Yeah, that’ll rub you the wrong way.

Competitions could include running with cotton balls between each toe, finding the way to the ladies’ room with a cucumber slice over each eye and trying to get a credit card out of a tight wallet before the nails are completely dry. Tough, I know, but I think I could take it. Why, I’ve even been known to endure a brow-waxing…and that’s brutal, man. I would likely be willing to endure a seaweed wrap with hardly a whine for the right spa survivor incentive. A really tight seaweed wrap even.

Okay, in truth, my spa survivor skills are not all that likely to impress. But have you ever thought about God’s Word as our spiritual day spa? It truly is the most impressive. No brutal brow-waxing or exfoliators. Even when it causes us to see things in our lives that are a bit painful, God’s word always rubs us the RIGHT way.

Hebrews 4:12 says, “For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” That may sound more painful than a brow-waxing, but searching the scriptures, studying them, applying them, meditating on them and making them part of our lives doesn’t simply change the shape of a brow. No, it changes the shape of our lives. As we focus on his word, we can see our thoughts and attitudes lining up with his thoughts and attitudes. That’s when we can find a whole new depth of real, purpose-filled life.

The Bible encourages us not to merely survive this life. Who wants to settle for mere surviving when we can be thriving? It’s tribal or non-tribal survival “thrival.”

So let’s peel those cucumbers off our eyes and look daily into the living, active word of God. It’s grand to thrive! Even if we leave our brows outrageously furry and decide to EAT the seaweed.

The Perfect Centerpiece

I love, love, love whoever it was who invented the marvelous, miraculous FROZEN DINNER. What a genius! I OWE this person. Everyone talks about those fancy ice sculptures. But me? A frozen family-sized lasagna is a thing of beauty to me. Now there’s a centerpiece you can sink your teeth into.

Anytime I can’t decide what to make for dinner, I go straight for the freezer. I open that magic door and find—oh glorious day—someone has already decided! Those days there aren’t enough groceries in the pantry to put together anything besides some kind of noodle/Dorito casserole, I check that freezer—and dinner is done! Some days I just plain don’t want to spend an hour in the kitchen. No problem. In the freezer dinner is already done! If they made it any easier they would be digesting it for me!

I’m embarrassed to admit how much I depend on my freezer for dinner (though I do try to make sure I do all my own digesting, thank you). And my microwave. My beautiful, beautiful microwave. We’ve never needed a dinner bell. The beep of the microwave signals everyone that dinner is ready. And that beep has become like music to my ears.

Even sweeter music to my ears? The sweet, sweet song of salvation! Our redemption is all about and all through Jesus. When he paid our sin debt on the cross, it was finished—in Jesus it’s already done!

Just take a look at how the Amplified Bible expresses Hebrews 7:23-25: “Now there have been many of those priests, since death prevented them from continuing in office; But He holds His priesthood unchangeably, because He lives on forever. Therefore He is able also to save to the uttermost (completely, perfectly, finally, and for all time and eternity) those who come to God through Him, since He is always living to make petition to God and intercede with Him and intervene for them.”

Jesus saves to the uttermost. Completely and perfectly. Finally and eternally. Sound the beautiful beep, it’s done! He had already decided before the foundation of the world to redeem his children back to himself. And what he decides to do, he does. We don’t have to stew over our redemption. We only have to accept it and live it out.

But speaking of stew, I just heard the microwave sound the dinner bell. Ah, it’s playing my song. Oh and just so you won’t think I’m totally inept in the kitchen, that special Italian sauce I make is never ever frozen. My special sauce is from a jar.

On Deadlines and Chicken Suits

I’m working like a maniac trying to finish a book in two weeks—finish writing it, not reading it. If I write from sunup to sun-back-up and stop wasting time with trivial things like eating, drinking and sleeping I might make it—well, probably not alive. Maybe that’s why they call it a “deadline.”

It’s funny, but even at the most overwhelming times as a writer and speaker, I never consider doing anything else. Last week I drove by this guy standing in front of a fast food place. He was waving at people as they drove past. In a chicken suit. And I thought my job could be humbling.

You know, the Lord calls us to do whatever we do as if we were doing it for him. And it’s because we are! Colossians 3:23-24 says, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.”

That changes how we see deadlines and dehydration. It changes how we respond to flapping around in a chicken suit. It means that neither job is more important or even more fulfilling than the other—because it’s our God who makes what we do valuable.

Of course, I do have to admit I was a little jealous of the chicken guy. With what I do, I hardly ever get to wear feathers.

It'll Curl Your Hair

We’ve never been one of those families that sits around a campfire telling scary stories. Every once in awhile, though, I have to admit I like to frighten my teenage girls with one of the scariest stories I know. And it happened to ME. It’s the story about when I was a little girl…and my mom….gave me…(insert a maniacal “mwah-ah-ah” here)…a HOME PERM. I describe in gory detail how I had to spend several weeks looking like a dandelion, the other cruel children making wishes and blowing on my head. Frightening. Nothing can raise up a fresh batch of goosebumps like a story of evil Frankenstein-ish chemicals and a perm gone bad. What could be scarier than that first look in the mirror? You’re pretty sure you’re so frightened you’re hair is standing on end—but who could tell? After hearing my dandelion story, I honestly think my girls would buy a home lobotomy kit before they would buy a home perm kit.

Didn’t I hear this comment about that bottle of perm solution? “I’d rather have a frontal lobotomy than a bottle in front of me.”

How many people do you know who seem to have found a lobotomy blue light special? So many seem to make every life decision pointedly and purposefully completely opposite what the Lord spells out for us to do in his Word. It’s like mocking his instruction! Now there’s a reason to fear. Proverbs 9:9-12 says, “Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning. The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life. If you are wise, your wisdom will reward you; if you are a mocker, you alone will suffer” (NIV).

Making life choices contrary to the Father’s instruction brings suffering. But choosing to live a life of obedience results in wisdom, blessing and reward. That life of obedience starts with the good kind of fear. Not the hair-curling kind of fear, but a humble, awed reverence for the holy, holy, holy God.

Knowing, fearing and following him might not guarantee every day is a good hair day, but wisdom really does lead to more wisdom. It’s blessing becoming more blessing. The blessings lead right into our ultimate blessing when we’ll see Jesus face to face. There will be no more evil, no more pain, and no more tears. It’s an eternal life full of love and laughter—and none of our heavenly laughter will be that maniacal kind.

That’s a thought that almost always leaves me goosebumpy. The good kind of goosebumps—not the chemically inspired kind.